


Rebel Mission Report #2089, or, Aliens Made Them Do It

by exmanhater



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, M/M, Mission Reports, pretend non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:01:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater
Summary: Kallus writes what is sure to be the most ridiculous mission report of the entire Rebellion. Zeb "helps".





	Rebel Mission Report #2089, or, Aliens Made Them Do It

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for spoilery details re: pretend non-con elements. No non-con is depicted on screen.
> 
> With thanks to jedusaur for the idea :)

Mission objective: extract a Fulcrum agent currently trapped in Zygerrian space, along with any sentient beings currently being enslaved  
Rebel agents: Captain Garazeb Orrelios and Alexsandr Kallus  
Status: Success

Mission report, as recorded by Alexsandr Kallus:

 

("Hey, aren't you going to mention my help?"

"Help?" Kallus smirks and turns back to the report he is currently reading to Zeb. "I don't recall any help.")

 

We arrived at Zygerria as scheduled, and found our way to the small moon our contact specified. We were immediately targeted by slavers, as expected, and allowed ourselves to be captured. Some critical details were missing from the mission brief, however, as instead of being entered into gladiatorial combat as expected, we found ourselves being bathed and fed rather well. We were given new clothes of little practical use.

We eventually realized that instead of combat, we were expected to engage in sexual intercourse for spectators at regular events each day. This was enforced through shock collars and various other means of control. Given the nature of my relationship with Captain Orrelios and both of our comfort with a certain degree of observation, there was no need to break our covers and escape before establishing contact with Fulcrum and accomplishing our mission.

 

("Heh," Zeb interrupts. "You mean, _given that we'd been complaining about the Rebellion cockblocking us for weeks, we were very ready to fuck for the greater good._ "

"If it ever becomes acceptable to use the word 'cockblock' in an official report, I will be sure to make _you_ write it."

"You didn't describe that little scrap of cloth you got to wear for three days straight," Zeb says. "Describe it, and make sure you mention all the blushing."

"I am not writing you pornography!" Kallus hisses, and goes back to the report.)

 

Using previously established code words, we made sure we each consented, and then proceeded to act our parts. When not otherwise occupied, we spoke with other captives, found weak points in the facility, and attempted to find our contact.

 

("You mean _when we weren't fucking each other silly_. Who knew people would love watching us fuck so much?" Zeb muses, and Kallus has a visceral full-body flashback to some of the best sex of his life.

He'd felt rather guilty about enjoying it so much at the time. It hadn't seemed right, somehow, to be looking forward to sex on the job. But they really hadn't been able to do more than a quick grope or short stolen kisses in out of the way corners for months—they'd both been more than ready to reconnect.

The slavers hadn't been interested in getting them to fuck anyone else, which obviously would have been a sticking point. It was bad enough they couldn't immediately get everyone out, although they had made it easier for them. Once Kallus and Zeb had protested and acted their way through their first scene, the slavers (and the audiences) seemed to think they were more interesting than other pairs or groups, and they'd gotten most of the assignments.

They'd even had access to sex toys, which meant they could try new things, as long as they pretended to hate it enough. Kallus honestly couldn't decide what he'd liked better, being tied up and fucked against a wall, or tying Zeb up and teasing him with a blowjob for hours.

Zeb breaks him out of the trance he's in by leering spectacularly and slapping his ass. "Remembering anything in particular?"

Kallus clears his throat and goes back to the report.)

 

On the third day, we made contact with Fulcrum, who was working as a food server at events. Captain Orrelios caused a distraction with a purposely bad escape attempt while the Fulcrum agent and I stole access codes to all the rooms containing slaves, and established an escape route to our commandeered ship. There were only seven captives to account for, plus the three of us, and all would fit on our ship, so we did not delay. Once Fulcrum got word to the others, I signaled Captain Orrelios to stop toying with the guards set on him and he quickly dispatched them. Fulcrum and I took out the lead slaver (see attached dossier) and freed the captives while most of the guards were busy trying to subdue Captain Orrelios. All of them were glad to leave, though only three wanted to return with us to Yavin IV. The others we escorted back to wherever they wished to go within the sector.

 

("You make it sound so easy," Zeb says, shaking his head.

Kallus agrees, but there is only so much detail he wants to share. In reality, it had been chaos during their escape, with panicking former slaves in tow, only some of whom could or would fight. It had taken them only thirty minutes to reach the ship, but each minute had felt like an hour.

"We made it out," he says. "That's the important part."

Zeb grins. "We even did everything we were supposed to—can't say that every mission."

"And we enjoyed most of it," Kallus adds. "That is also something of an anomaly."

"Speaking of things we enjoy," Zeb says, reaching to draw Kallus in against him.

Reluctantly, Kallus pushes Zeb away after just a few kisses. "We need to finish this and submit it, and then go to the next mission briefing Hera called for tonight."

Zeb pouts, which Kallus always enjoys watching. "Maybe we can get kidnapped by sex gladiator slavers again soon?" he says hopefully.

"Don't count on it.")

 

Once we reached the ship, it took several moments to re-initialize the hyperdrive and determine our first jump point. During that time, Captain Orrelios took it upon himself to shoot at the complex, destroying all the ships there as well as the main facility. Although this action endangered our ability to quickly get away, it did make it possible for us to avoid any following ships and ensured the end of the gladiator slave ring.

 

("You mean I had a genius idea that you didn't."

"Whatever you say, dear.")

 

We dropped off our passengers at various chosen locations, carefully masking the ship's signature at each jump point, and then made our way back to base. The Fulcrum agent has given a full briefing to Rebel leadership. Two of the rescued captives-turned-volunteers had some pilot training and are being assessed by Captain Syndulla for flight-readiness. At this juncture, we do not believe the Zygerrians in charge of this slave ring will be able to rebuild, but we do recommend keeping tabs on any survivors' movements as resources permit.

Future action needed: Regular monitoring of known Zygerrian slavers. We would also recommend that all Rebel agents be given more detail and specific prep in mission briefs which may contain similar activities, as most would be unable to handle this situation similarly.

 

("Is that your way of volunteering us for future sex assignments?" Zeb asks.

Kallus smiles slowly. "Absolutely," he says, and watches Zeb's eyes go dark with desire. 

They are late to the briefing.)

 

[the end]

**Author's Note:**

> Contains one reference to rape/non-con happening to other characters offscreen. The pretend non-con elements refer to Zeb & Kallus having to pretend that they are being forced to have sex with other, when in reality they are extremely happy to have the time for sex.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Rebel Mission Report #2089, or, Aliens Made Them Do It [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16014422) by [Lunate8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunate8/pseuds/Lunate8)




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